You are one day closer to your goals as you ve listed them in your recovery plan. What do you want 30 days from now or 1 to 5 years ahead? Work toward achieving that goal. As you attain it, work toward the next one on your list or make new goals. Your life should always be a process of discovery. According to sexual addiction treatment professionals, it takes time to learn new behavior patterns around sex. He examined the steps these patients took in recovery and treatment and was able to outline the general stages and how long they lasted. Each person is unique, but he found that, in general, patients moved through these stages before being in recovery. The developing stage. This first stage can take up to two years. These feelings directly result from chemical disruptions in the brain that are unnatural and unsustainable for any healthy or satisfying life. The mind and the spirit suffer when caught up in these acts that hold a complete disregard for the importance and meaning of sexuality. Sex is not meant to be a frivolous pastime nor a recreational activity; it is intended to be shared between two people who have deep feelings of love and commitment to one another. From this perspective, sobriety is much more than staying away from unwanted behavior. It includes a deep sense of serenity and a consistent ability to "live life on life's terms", often with deep connections with other people and a sense of meaning in daily life. The Role of An Initial Period of Abstinence In Sex Addiction Recovery Even though refraining from all sex is usually not a sex addict's ultimate goal, an initial period of sexual abstinence (such as 90 days) can be a good idea. Healing the Shame-Based Self in Sexual Recovery By Robert Weiss, LCSW, CAS Self-Nurturing Early recovery requires a clear and well-defined sexual plan that often requires a period of celibacy. Often times though, this leads to unhealthy judgment, sexual anorexia, and fear. Desperate to "recover right", most sex addicts are guarded about their early sexual choices and behaviors. On one hand, holiness is something that God does for a Christian. It s an objective reality because of Jesus s work on the cross, and it doesn t depend on how we feel or what we do. That s incredible. On the other hand, holiness does involve the things we do. It s hard work, all the dying to self and living to righteousness.