Requiring them to return fixed and ready to surrender themselves to another healing process alongside their unfaithful partner is actually harmful and unfair. Essentially, if your couples therapist says, Go get more help on your own, they are effectively deeming you a lost cause. After all, they are a relationship expert, literally sending you away from your relationship for not being good enough at forgiving and forgetting. Getting Attached When we pair up into long-term relationships we begin a process of bonding with one another that is a beautiful and profound intertwining of two lives. In this mysterious attachment, we actually start to physically operate as one biological organism. The book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment says, Numerous studies show that once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one physiological unit. The use of pornography causes the body to get high; on a mixture of chemicals including adrenaline, testosterone, epinephrine, and over time, more of the pornographic material is needed to get the same rush. A survey of 28,000 men in Italy, conducted by the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine, said that several began an addiction to pornography early in their teen years, by age 14. Full disclosure: Consider guided therapeutic disclosure by a professional counselor to ensure honesty and openness. Recovery support: Encourage your husband to seek counseling, support groups, or accountability groups. Check-ins and transparency: Ask your husband about his recovery progress. Avoiding triggers and temptations: Request that he avoid situations that may lead to temptation. That afternoon, I sat down with the guys and we had a group treatment experience. For an hour, we did gestalt work talking to that poor, ugly stuffed dragon. We spoke to him about how we had dishonored him, understanding how he, as our addict, had only tried to help us become aware of our needs and encourage us to reach out for nurturing, validation, and support. Childhood Emotional, Sexual Trauma Common in Sex Addiction...... Childhood trauma is not uniquely associated with sexual addiction by any means it is associated with a wide range of addictions and other psychological disorders. Sometimes, sex addiction develops during or after substance abuse. Abuse of stimulants and the intense sexual desire that can accompany these drugs can jumpstart a pattern of compulsive sexual behavior, and sexual addiction can also become a substitute addiction for people who are in the process of quitting an addictive substance.