How exactly? Porn strips the relational and communal aspects away from sexuality. It s no longer about two people knowing each other and being known intimately within the boundaries and protections that God designed. God made sex as a sacred bond within marriage, but porn turns it into a commodity. God intended sex as two people giving themselves to each other. This can represent a betraying partner trying to support her betrayed spouse. If you're the unfaithful partner and you want to know how to help your spouse heal from your affair, read more about our betrayal trauma recovery program in Florida, California, NY and the USA Don t Assume The Pain After Infidelity Is Your Partner s Job To Resolve Too many people, including therapists, view the pain after infidelity as individual pain. According to a study conducted by sex addiction researcher Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., a significant amount of people with sex addiction experienced emotional abuse (97%), sexual abuse (81%) or physical abuse (72%) in childhood. Furthermore, people who came from rigid, uninvolved and emotionally absent families were also more likely to experience sex addiction (77%). During the mid-twenties to mid-thirties time period, more than 22 percent had begun using pornography and this number rose to more than 25 percent for men in the next age group, 35 to 44 years. The usage rates began to decline among study participants in the 45 to 54 age bracket, and then dropped by almost 50 percent, down to 12 percent, for men older than 55. Check-ins and transparency: Discuss his recovery progress and triggers. It s crucial to emphasize that boundaries are not about revenge or policing but about providing structure and space for healing and rebuilding trust. Personal action items may involve seeking personal counseling for emotional healing, along with creating a plan for different scenarios based on your husband s response to recovery efforts. Stopping fantasy Sexual fantasy is at the heart of sexual addiction and alone is enough to trigger sexual stimulation. Fantasy has a powerful grip on the mind, which does not respond to commands to "stop." The more effort made to stop fantasizing, the stronger the fantasy gets. So how does a sex addict stop fantasizing?