A couple sitting on the floor, back to back. They look distanced and lost after an affair. If you want to know how to help your spouse heal from your affair in the USA & Canada, you can schedule a free consultation with Relationship Experts. No! There are two key problems with approaching recovery this way: A: Navigating The Process Productively Will Not Feel Positive (And That s Okay) Processing betrayal is messy. Readiness Indicators for Relationship in Recovery Through the process of recovery, addicts begin developing greater self-awareness, deeper empathy and understanding for themselves and others, greater honesty and integrity and a desire to be accountable. They begin healing their intimacy disorder by coming to understand their own worthiness a sense of self-worth and confidence that allows them to risk feeling vulnerable with others, the key to true intimacy and communication. She also grieves the loss of her addiction because she used it like a crutch for a long period of time. Finally, whatever she used her addiction to cover up begins to emerge. This is often some kind of early trauma. The repair stage. This serious period of healing from sex addiction and its underlying causes can last from one to three years. Setting boundaries is a starting point, and as your marriage progresses and trust is rebuilt, these boundaries can evolve. Regular discussions with your husband and a counselor are encouraged to ensure the boundaries remain effective. The main goals of boundaries are not to turn into your spouse s parole officer or to seek revenge. Neither of those first phrases point to our actual need. In fact, our partner may interpret the second phrase as controlling. For example, one we often hear: I need you to go group while still being good information for us by assisting us on finding the deeper need, is not actually the need. I need a sense of safety and support around our recovery might be closer to that need. When I first began a journey toward recovery I intellectually understood the concept and need for surrender but found it difficult to get to the heart of true surrender. Until 1543, the accepted understanding of the universe put the Earth at the center with all other celestial bodies circling it. This thinking aligns with our instinctual tendency to see, and put, ourselves at the center of our universe.