If you are the betraying partner: Please lean into the recovery process understanding that no fixes exist, quick or otherwise. Knowing how to help your spouse heal from your affair means knowing how to remain committed, patient, and present. You are the main character in this healing process. Therapy should help you ease your partner s pain, not insist that your partner go away and come back healed on their own. If you were indeed able to figure out the primary feeling, you will be able to validate it later in your day if it comes up. Remember to identify one of these five feelings: anger, sadness, loneliness, happiness or fear. I can see as you look at the pictures from the Memorial Day family picnic that you feel sadness because now you question the reality of what really happened on that day. Their lives are broken to pieces, and they are overwhelmed with shame, often thinking, How could I be so stupid not to realize what was happening right under my nose? I m such a fool for trusting him/her. They feel they are going crazy. But these feelings are all normal because in all likelihood, this is the most shocking and confounding crisis they have ever experienced. Creatures that can reproduce asexually such as worms also elect to mate with other worms as another reproductive option. Therefore, when approaching the problem of sexual addiction, I believe it is our duty to conceptualize it knowing that sexual desire is a common denominator (at various levels) among both humans and animals. Finding Help In February 2017, we joined Covenant Eyes and hesitantly installed the app. I remember talking on the phone to an older woman who was a Covenant Eyes customer service employee. She talked to me with empathy and compassion for what I was dealing with and why I was getting this account set up. What Does Holiness Mean When You Struggle With Porn? By Keith Rose Keith Rose holds a Master of Divinity degree and BA in Sacred Music. Keith worked with the Covenant Eyes Member Care Team for 15 years. He has also served as a Bible teacher, pastoral assistant, and music director at his local church.