When our human transparency and need is met by God s acceptance and mercy, change happens. A Sex Addict Needs to Want to Recover When thinking of the addict and addiction, one should think recover rather than total cure. This is akin to being declared in remission when cancer is involved. However, there is much growth and blessing to be received in the recovery process. Is willing to be forthright about STI history and willing to speak openly about a potential partner s STI history before sex Desires a relationship not out of need or desperation, but as a reasoned decision to add value to his or her life As the SLAA 12 Promises state: Love will be a committed, thoughtful decision, rather than a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. If they can t, that s also fine, but because of that baseline foundation that each of our needs matter, they will hopefully offer an alternative that honors our need, our vulnerability in our request and values our connection. Step 4: Fourth, because we are now wise adults, we retain ownership of our need. Blow number two is the shocking realization that your partner has been extravagantly and expertly lying and manipulating reality in order to cover up their behaviors. These blows smash into your heart and in an instant plunge you into a whole new world. When I experienced this, in seconds, the person who I depended on and was deeply connected to went from being a source of support and companionship to being a source of pain, fear and deep uncertainty. This cycle of control and failure to control is a classic characteristic of addiction. Help and support can be found in many ways. Recovery support can include support groups, like Sex Addicts Anonymous, recovery sponsors, accountability partners, in- or outpatient treatment programs, counselling, medical help and Internet filters. For the addict, sexual addiction can result in relational, legal and financial consequences. It can also cause someone to experience shame, low self-worth, depression and anxiety. Sexual satiation perpetuates the addictive process by propelling it into deeper and more deviant places. A pornography addict, for example, might upgrade to impersonal sexual encounters, and then impersonal sexual encounters may lead to illegal sexual acts, such as voyeurism and exhibitionism.