We all want this special someone to attach to and intermingle our lives with. In fact, attachment researchers talk about the paradox of attachment saying, The more effectively dependent people are on one another, the more independent and daring they become, (Attached). So the better our relationships are in terms of providing us with a sense of, I can depend on you the more we are able to move fully into the rest of our lives, face insecurity and take risks. The survivor tends to focus on wanting their spouse s addiction and behavior cured but realizes that is out of their control. For them, the question then goes to their need to heal and move forward from the wounds and trauma of betrayal. The Gospels record Jesus asking a total of 307 questions throughout His ministry. Or, more broadly speaking, this can be defined as: Dependence on the needs of or control by another.1 However, while in most addictions the assumption can be made that the partners are co-dependent, or at least the addict s partner had co-dependent behaviors, this is not necessarily so in the case of sex addiction. Trusting your husband again should not be forced but should come naturally as he follows the boundaries set during the recovery process. Trust rebuilding takes time and should be based on his behaviors and commitment to change. Setting boundaries is a starting point, and as your marriage progresses and trust is rebuilt, these boundaries can evolve. Carnes, we had stuffed animals for hugging in our hospital day room. Between the cute stuffed animals was an ugly, humpbacked dragon with only one eye. Once, as I walked past, I saw some patients kicking this creature around and calling it names. I stopped and asked why they were abusing this ugly, but harmless, dragon. They may begin to engage in sexual behaviors more frequently or with more recklessness. Someone suffering from both substance abuse and mental health issues, including sex addiction, is defined as having a co-occurring disorder. KeyStone Center ECU understands the importance of treating individuals with co-occurring disorders and takes this into consideration when developing an individualized treatment plan.