He needed a smartphone for work, but everything on the smartphone was a trigger or temptation for him. Each relapse into pornography was a cut deep into my personal self-esteem. It took years for me to truly understand that this addiction is very much a physical pathway problem in the brain. The biggest struggle for my husband through this heartbreaking addiction was the concept of integrity and honesty. Sex addicts often drag perfectionism, shame, and self-hatred into their sexual decision making process, which is what drove the addictive behaviors in the first place. While the first few months of sexual recovery does require somewhat rigid boundaries, it is essential to help addicts negotiate the line between healthy sexual recovery and a healthy nurturing of self. The Gospels record Jesus asking a total of 307 questions throughout His ministry. One takes place at the pool of Bethesda and is recorded in the Gospel of John, Chapter 5. Here, we are told of Jesus asking a paralytic, Do you want to get well? We utilize both content and insights from a sermon series on 10 Questions Jesus Asked presented by Pastor Jeff Manion of Ada Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. They may return to sex, over and over again, to experience the high of it despite negative consequences. Just like with other addictions, they may escalate their behavior over time. They may begin to engage in sexual behaviors more frequently or with more recklessness. Someone suffering from both substance abuse and mental health issues, including sex addiction, is defined as having a co-occurring disorder. As you read this blog, ask yourself if just for the morning, afternoon or evening, you might consider staying in the moment and creating a mindset that is reassuring and reminds you that you can choose to focus on the events of the day that create certainty: the blue sky, your baby s breath, the rhythm of your walk, your beautiful home what ever is safe and true for the moment. Blow number one is the gut punch of betrayal; a breathtaking breach in trust that changes your relationship in permanent ways. Blow number two is the shocking realization that your partner has been extravagantly and expertly lying and manipulating reality in order to cover up their behaviors. These blows smash into your heart and in an instant plunge you into a whole new world.