You cannot possibly know the intensity of her feelings, but when you are able to look at what she is struggling with through her eyes, you are better able to assess what she needs. To the Partner: I recognize that the AVR formula will sound scripted and rote. I promise you he does not know how to empathize, so he must learn the skills before it becomes natural to him. Give Yourself Time There will be days when you feel as if you re wandering in a fog. You may not think you can make it through the day without giving into the temptation that may suddenly pop up. Your craving may seem impossible to ignore. But, with determination and resolve and adherence to your recovery plan, you will get through it. This could be significantly more harmful than helpful and could lead the client and all those associated with the client down the wrong path. At the very least, a background in addictions or forensic psychology should be a qualification. Counselors can also receive training and specialized certifications in sexual addictions, such as the certified sex addiction therapist program at the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals, which was founded by Carnes. Those who have made it out of this industry will always know it was destructive and unhealthy. Still, for them to admit it, they have to get out of it first and seek sex addiction treatment. Many who have become involved in the porn world may feel that they are too far gone to get out of it. This isn t true. (I wrote a lengthy article about what it takes to heal from chronic sexual deception, because there's a lot to address.) Especially when it comes to problematic pornography use there is evidence that a 90 day period of total sexual abstinence can help some people "reboot" their brain so that continued abstinence becomes easier and they become significantly happier and more productive as time progresses. When wives internal world of perceptions and intuition does not match up with their external world of what they are seeing and being told, they can develop feelings of being crazy. That is often the result of internal and external worlds not seeming to match up. When these wives are offered the truth it finally allows them to feel sane.