Addressing Trauma Part of the Long Process of Recovery.... A history of early trauma is part of the reason that recovery from sexual addiction is typically a long and difficult process. First, people with this addiction need to stop their cycles of compulsive behavior, which usually means refraining from any sexual activity and avoiding potential sexual stimuli. This benefit of getting some forward momentum is captured in an old recovery saying that "it's easier to stay sober than to get sober". The Role of Masturbation in Sexual Sobriety You may be wondering how masturbation relates to the concept of sexual sobriety, especially for people without sexual partners. When that special someone that we have bonded with betrays us it messes us up because all of a sudden the person who is our secure base in the world has caused us untold pain and robbed us of our sense of safety. The relationship we thought was safe now feels painful and threatening. This profound and sudden change in our sense of security and connection sends our bodies into panic and lights up the fear center in our brain like a giant Christmas tree. Viewing pornography leaves feelings of frustration, irritation, depression, anxiety, emptiness, and debilitating shame. These feelings directly result from chemical disruptions in the brain that are unnatural and unsustainable for any healthy or satisfying life. The mind and the spirit suffer when caught up in these acts that hold a complete disregard for the importance and meaning of sexuality. If you were indeed able to figure out the primary feeling, you will be able to validate it later in your day if it comes up. Remember to identify one of these five feelings: anger, sadness, loneliness, happiness or fear. I can see as you look at the pictures from the Memorial Day family picnic that you feel sadness because now you question the reality of what really happened on that day. However, trust is only really built from someone who is willing to offer the truth, the whole truth, without being asked. The problem with questioning is that a betrayed woman may wonder if she has not asked just the right question, or enough questions, so her mind will continue to obsess about what she has missed.