The symptoms are similar to those who have an alcohol or drug addiction, as sex addicts often believe that their cravings are out of their control. They may return to sex, over and over again, to experience the high of it despite negative consequences. Just like with other addictions, they may escalate their behavior over time. Men seem to have an empathy deficit and so I found that breaking it down was much more helpful in teaching this all important skill. I have developed a formula that helps them to remember to do a read on the partners feelings and see things from her perspective. The formula is easy to follow because it only has 3 steps to follow. Why Mindfulness Can Help You Both with Uncertainty By Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CSAT, CCPS-S, PCC You as the addict are working hard to create safety, which is a new truth. The mind is conditioned to create certainty, which is a survival mechanism. The traumatized partner s mind is on a perpetual search to find more certainty, which can lead to more suffering, and yet it is the survival skill attempting to keep the partner safe. My relationship, which had created a stable base from which I was able to operate in the world, was suddenly a rickety, wobbly mess. Here is what I wished I had known then about what was happening to me. This is the science behind the tsunami of feelings betrayed partners so often experience. Getting Attached When we pair up into long-term relationships we begin a process of bonding with one another that is a beautiful and profound intertwining of two lives. I soon learned that the very person he and his betraying partner turned to for guidance, their couples therapist, had implicated him as the problem partner! Though the therapist promised to help them navigate recovery in the most positive way, he had been labeled too emotionally stuck and sent off to individual therapy with me! A pornography addict, for example, might upgrade to impersonal sexual encounters, and then impersonal sexual encounters may lead to illegal sexual acts, such as voyeurism and exhibitionism. The addict s objective is to continually seek gratification when the usual sources have lost their luster, so to speak.