This is not codependency I m talking about. This is healthy, normal, mutual dependency. It is what makes relationships fulfilling and sought after. We all want this special someone to attach to and intermingle our lives with. In fact, attachment researchers talk about the paradox of attachment saying, The more effectively dependent people are on one another, the more independent and daring they become, (Attached). He examined the steps these patients took in recovery and treatment and was able to outline the general stages and how long they lasted. Each person is unique, but he found that, in general, patients moved through these stages before being in recovery. The developing stage. This first stage can take up to two years. In those early days of this heartache coming to light, there were multiple relapses, dishonesty, denial, and an eventual separation. Tangible Solutions In addition to the help of professionals, we needed a tangible solution to a problem with a very specific technological outlet. He needed a smartphone for work, but everything on the smartphone was a trigger or temptation for him. Often a wife learns about unfaithful behaviors through her own accidental discovery or through more intentional detective work. Either might lead her to ask many questions that sometimes her husband may or may not be willing to answer. Truthful answers allow for more of the puzzle pieces to take shape. There appears to be something inherent in the human family that feels it is wrong to view the private sexual acts of others. In other words, the mind, the electrically intelligent part of us, cannot feel good about participating. I make this claim after listening to hundreds of addiction treatment stories of clients who have viewed pornography. A history of early trauma is part of the reason that recovery from sexual addiction is typically a long and difficult process. First, people with this addiction need to stop their cycles of compulsive behavior, which usually means refraining from any sexual activity and avoiding potential sexual stimuli.