John Townsend define boundaries as personal property lines that separate what s your responsibility (feelings, attitudes, choices, and behaviors) from what s your spouse s responsibility. Boundaries provide a framework for your husband to take responsibility for his own healing journey and give you the space to focus on your healing, which is equally important for the marriage s recovery. Just as an alcoholic must stop drinking alcohol, a sex addict must stop all sexual acting out behaviours. Sometimes these behaviours are obvious, like no more sex outside of marriage, but sometimes they are subtle, like flirting. Again, this is where honesty with self and others is vital. Recovery support is essential, because trying to stop these behaviours without the support of God and others is nearly impossible. It is in learning how to have real closeness with others authentic intimacy that we begin to heal. To do that, we ll need to spend a bit of time understanding the early wounds that created our intimacy disordered behavior (addictions). So sex addiction recovery is about far more than one-day-at-a-time abstinence; it s real work we do on who we are, how we were formed and how we communicate with others. He felt like he was spiraling out of control and absolutely could not stop compulsively (and secretly) viewing pornography. He started therapy and support meetings, but the addiction still felt heavy and impossible. He admitted that this problem started as a young teenager with no restrictions to television or the internet. Your partner needs you to fully participate. Understand That Forgiveness Is Not A Thing You Give To Each Other When the offender demonstrates that he understands and is sincerely disturbed by the harm he has caused you, and when he works to make repairs, you [the hurt partner] may be more motivated to release your resentment and invite him back into your life. Many of these responses can manifest in the form of the compulsive sexual behaviors that are seen with sex addiction. Addressing Trauma Part of the Long Process of Recovery.... A history of early trauma is part of the reason that recovery from sexual addiction is typically a long and difficult process.