Men seem to have an empathy deficit and so I found that breaking it down was much more helpful in teaching this all important skill. I have developed a formula that helps them to remember to do a read on the partners feelings and see things from her perspective. The formula is easy to follow because it only has 3 steps to follow. And the type of responsiveness we received greatly impacted our ability to validate our own needs and set our expectation for whether or not our needs would matter to others. What did you learn about having needs when you were young? There is so much to discuss about needs, but what I want to focus on in this article is how I help individuals and couples break needs down in order to understand where this larger topic of needs might be getting stuck for them. Sex Addiction as a term first appeared in the mid-1970s when a group of people in Alcoholics Anonymous got together to apply the principles of 12-step programs to issues of compulsive sexual behaviors. Research has shown that sexual addiction and substance abuse are often correlated. An estimated 40-64% of sex addicts also suffer from substance abuse disorders. This is the science behind the tsunami of feelings betrayed partners so often experience. Getting Attached When we pair up into long-term relationships we begin a process of bonding with one another that is a beautiful and profound intertwining of two lives. In this mysterious attachment, we actually start to physically operate as one biological organism. Another victory for me has been that I found the confidence in myself to apply for nursing school at age 34 with four kids also in school. I have found joy in following this dream that I thought I had given up a decade ago when I didn t get accepted back in 2010. Perhaps the best part of our story is that when our oldest child gets her first smartphone as a teenager next year, I know exactly the first app I am going to install on it to keep her safe from pornography. This is the part that generates feelings of right or wrong. The physical brain has no concept of right or wrong. Its primary function is to keep us alive, and it does this by driving us to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Difference Between Mind And Brain The Physical Brain The physical-chemical brain has a tremendous capacity to gain control of the mind.