For 88% of those with a sex addiction, mental illnesses play a key role. In this article, KeyStone Center ECU dives into exactly what those connections are. We explore how mental health problems can become both a cause or a symptom of sex addiction and how it can be similar to other behavioral health issues. Our partner regulates our blood pressure, our heart rate, our breathing and the levels of hormones in our blood. As our bond grows through perhaps getting married, combining our homes, having children together, or working toward common goals, we become more and more interdependent with one another. This is not codependency I m talking about. If our partner s attempt to meet our need is not able to satisfy that need, we get active in our hoop to get that need met in a way that honors our need and is congruent with our vision for who we want to be. So, if our need was for safety, support, confidence in our work and movement/change, what are ways we can offer that to ourselves? This allows the betrayal trauma response to calm as you gain the ability to be present with the natural normal distress resulting from the discovery that the addict has betrayed them. Your reactivity decreases and your distress acceptance takes the charge out of the fear equation. The secondary gain is that you begin to apply this constructively compassionate mindset to others as well. As a relationship expert, I had two immediate questions: Who gave him the idea that he needed to surrender to anything? Why did he think was doing it wrong? I soon learned that the very person he and his betraying partner turned to for guidance, their couples therapist, had implicated him as the problem partner! At some point later, Jesus finds him in the temple and a follow-up conversation occurs. Jesus says to him, See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you. The Outer & Inner Condition The conditions we are dealing with in our lives may not be paralysis but they can be equally debilitating and threatening.