When these wives are offered the truth it finally allows them to feel sane. It is not only a gift from their husbands, it is really (in our opinion) a moral imperative. No wonder the Bible instructs us to speak truth to each other. I know that as couples seek to heal and transform from the hurts of infidelity, full disclosure is an important part of trust-building. This could be the diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease, an arrest, attempting suicide or anything else that causes the addict to commit to change. The shock stage. For the next six to eight months, the addict has admitted to the problem but is in shock and disbelief. She feels angry and hopeless but ultimately relieved that she has finally admitted to having an addiction to sexual behaviors. For them, the question then goes to their need to heal and move forward from the wounds and trauma of betrayal. The Gospels record Jesus asking a total of 307 questions throughout His ministry. One takes place at the pool of Bethesda and is recorded in the Gospel of John, Chapter 5. Here, we are told of Jesus asking a paralytic, Do you want to get well? It makes sense to me that looking at our Memorial Day picnic pictures causes you great pain Validation of Her Feelings Using the Five Primary Feelings It can be difficult to ascertain how she is feeling, so it is helpful to focus on her primary feeling (and see if you got it right). If you were indeed able to figure out the primary feeling, you will be able to validate it later in your day if it comes up. Often, it is easier to notice and think about others what they are doing, not doing, what we don t like about them, etc. Yet, if we find ourselves focused on and complaining about what someone else is doing or not doing; we likely have a need. This is the most important stage recognizing that what we are feeling is likely less about them and who they are and what they are doing and more about a need that we have. This is especially true when the issue of sex addiction comes up. Sex addiction, also known as compulsive sexual behavior, has been defined as an excessive focus on and participation in sexual activities despite negative consequences. It can have extreme consequences on one s emotional, psychological and social well-being.