Mental Health and Sex Addiction Understanding how mental health and sex addiction are connected is crucial for developing empathy for those affected by it. KeyStone Center ECU has compiled a list of examples of how mental health and sex addiction are connected. The Effects of Trauma One instance in which mental health can lead to sex addiction involves trauma. The traumatized partner s mind is on a perpetual search to find more certainty, which can lead to more suffering, and yet it is the survival skill attempting to keep the partner safe. A partner s attempts to find safety can exacerbate her fears because her primary need is to feel safe and survive. This can create more suffering because she is in that hypervigilant state to know the truth. This is the science behind the tsunami of feelings betrayed partners so often experience. Getting Attached When we pair up into long-term relationships we begin a process of bonding with one another that is a beautiful and profound intertwining of two lives. In this mysterious attachment, we actually start to physically operate as one biological organism. AVR-The Empathy Formula Practicing the A in AVR requires that you acknowledge the situation and accompanying pain. At first it can seem counterintuitive to bring up the damage your addiction has caused her. She wants to know that you remember her pain is a result of your actions. It assures her that you have not forgotten, nor are you in denial. Two women taking over coffee What did you learn about having needs when you were young? In our work with couples and individuals, we talk a lot about needs. Often, because of mistaken understandings within our family of origin about needs and how to navigate needs within relationship, we have developed a way of being along a continuum. Honesty is the foundation to recovery for any addict, and it's no different for the sexual addict. Healing does not occur if secrets are kept. Recovery will require a willingness and commitment to go the distance. The quality of recovery is directly related to how much effort is made to get well. We can never underestimate the power of prayer in the healing of addictions.