Sex addiction, in particular, creates a sense of excitement and pleasure, while simultaneously ensuring emotional distance and avoidance of true connection the kind of intimacy that can leave one open to being hurt. Putting in the Work in Sex Addiction Recovery The process of recovery for sex addicts involves identifying those behaviors such as obsessive masturbation, pornography use, anonymous sex, exhibitionism, etc. Honesty is the foundation to recovery for any addict, and it's no different for the sexual addict. Healing does not occur if secrets are kept. Recovery will require a willingness and commitment to go the distance. The quality of recovery is directly related to how much effort is made to get well. We can never underestimate the power of prayer in the healing of addictions. Borderline behavior isn t the same as a relapse but it can be the beginning of a gradual slide back to one. Finally, top lines are all forms of healthy behaviors that promote sobriety and good self-care. People establish and maintain appropriate top lines to keep from crossing their bottom lines. Support for Maintaining Sexual Sobriety Most self-identified sex addicts who want to maintain their sexual sobriety find it extremely beneficial to have regular contact with other people who are on similar journeys. There are two key problems with approaching recovery this way: A: Navigating The Process Productively Will Not Feel Positive (And That s Okay) Processing betrayal is messy. To survive that process (and understand it with your marriage improved) you must get in the trenches together. The couples we counsel are forewarned that recovery is not pretty. There is a continuous interplay between both parts, and each may have a powerful influence on the other. The mind and the brain work simultaneously to bring meaning to life. The mind, or spirit, is the electrical intelligence in this physical-chemical body and brain. Addiction occurs when the physical brain has taken control of the mind. Men seem to have an empathy deficit and so I found that breaking it down was much more helpful in teaching this all important skill. I have developed a formula that helps them to remember to do a read on the partners feelings and see things from her perspective. The formula is easy to follow because it only has 3 steps to follow.