has led to a new assessment model that differs in both its assessment and its methods of treatment for the spouse. Her studies conclude that on discovering sex addiction, spouses are more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) than co-dependency. Together with co-author, Marsha Means, MA, Steffens wrote a remarkable book on sex addiction and PTSD as it relates to her research. If you're the unfaithful partner and you want to know how to help your spouse heal from your affair, read more about our betrayal trauma recovery program in Florida, California, NY and the USA Don t Assume The Pain After Infidelity Is Your Partner s Job To Resolve Too many people, including therapists, view the pain after infidelity as individual pain. Partners who continue to be consumed with seeking information are tortured not by the behavior but by their unrelenting quest to uncover all of the lies. Initially, information-seeking helps decrease panic and the horrible loss of power experienced after discovery of the betrayal. However, searching for information or signs of acting out quickly becomes all-consuming. Darrin Ford explains in his Isomorphic Path to Intimacy that to gain intimacy as a couple it needs to begin with self-intimacy, and furthermore, partners need to practice distress tolerance and be present with the uncomfortable emotionality that is an inevitable outcome of a partner s natural state manifesting from the betrayal. I realized then that it is impossible to "kill off" the addiction, and that hating and controlling the addict part of themselves could only lead back to shame and problems. That afternoon, I sat down with the guys and we had a group treatment experience. For an hour, we did gestalt work talking to that poor, ugly stuffed dragon. Proponents of its inclusion, however, argue that without a formal categorization system people may not receive the help they need. For example, will insurance cover health care treatment for sex addiction if it is not considered a mental health disorder? While both sides make fair arguments, we cannot deny the connections between mental health and sex addiction.