Any justification or rationale your brain can throw at you to undermine your resolve is likely to surface at different times. The fact that it's difficult is itself evidence that the way you are managing your life deserves your full attention. If you are in a relationship with someone you have sexually betrayed, an agreed-upon time without sex can allow for some relationship healing to begin by giving you an opportunity to focus on developing nonsexual emotional safety and connection. I only knew that discovering sexual betrayal in my relationship changed me overnight. Every betrayed partner is dealt two blows at once when they discover their spouse s sexual behavior. Blow number one is the gut punch of betrayal; a breathtaking breach in trust that changes your relationship in permanent ways. If an addict learns they can manipulate you, they will. Ask clients to use accountability software on their electronic devices. Obviously, this is not foolproof, but it offers some external control. Develop allies within the addict s life system to aid in supporting the treatment plan. Refer to a psychiatrist for a medication assessment to address anxiety and depression. This abstinence has several benefits, including preventing sex from being used as a weapon, allowing time to observe his commitment to rebuilding intimacy, and helping him detox from porn s impact. Encourage your husband to pursue intimacy in non-sexual ways during this period. Focus on rebuilding emotional connection and romantic gestures, such as buying flowers or helping with chores. This email, below, comes from a highly respected man in his community who loves his family and is committed to providing for and caring for them. I am sick to my core by virtue of my indulgence in pornography. To be honest, my appetite for porn accounted for why I got the internet in the very first place, and now that I am down in a horrendous pit, I seriously wonder whether there is hope of recovery for me, for whenever I log onto the internet, I must view porn. It is in learning how to have real closeness with others authentic intimacy that we begin to heal. To do that, we ll need to spend a bit of time understanding the early wounds that created our intimacy disordered behavior (addictions). So sex addiction recovery is about far more than one-day-at-a-time abstinence; it s real work we do on who we are, how we were formed and how we communicate with others.