Can we see if God might work in that space and bring about something we could not? Or teach us something about ourselves that we may have needed to know? Putting It Together Let s walk it through with an example: Let s say you are at your spouse s work event on a Friday evening. As the evening moves on, you become aware that your spouse is going to want to stay for a while longer. Holiness Means Living to Righteousness The Christian life is not just about avoiding sin the dying part but also about pursuing righteousness. This means that the fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, and self-control, (Galatians 5:22-23) should increasingly characterize your life. It makes sense to me that looking at our Memorial Day picnic pictures causes you great pain Validation of Her Feelings Using the Five Primary Feelings It can be difficult to ascertain how she is feeling, so it is helpful to focus on her primary feeling (and see if you got it right). If you were indeed able to figure out the primary feeling, you will be able to validate it later in your day if it comes up. No one would blame you if you were distracted from recovery and trapped in the belief that something is wrong with you. widening the rift of insecurity and confusion between you and your partner. You are now blamed and directed away from the person you want to get closer to. In the meantime, your partner is absolved of their part in the process. Our therapist once mentioned the idea that it is better to be 100% honest and have integrity even if it means risking the shame and possibility of losing your comfort zone. By lying to your spouse or family members, you can only ever have the mediocre happiness that comes with living an inauthentic life. When used to escape stress, it becomes a way of coping that never fails. Typical behaviors include gambling, spending, pornography, masturbation, sex, gaming, binge-watching television, and other high-risk experiences. Process addictions increase dopamine. Dopamine is a naturally occurring and powerful pleasure-seeking chemical in the brain.