Regular discussions with your husband and a counselor are encouraged to ensure the boundaries remain effective. The main goals of boundaries are not to turn into your spouse s parole officer or to seek revenge. Instead, they serve to: Rebuild trust. Provide space for your healing. Offer concrete goals and standards for his recovery. That is often the result of internal and external worlds not seeming to match up. When these wives are offered the truth it finally allows them to feel sane. It is not only a gift from their husbands, it is really (in our opinion) a moral imperative. No wonder the Bible instructs us to speak truth to each other. Without a doubt, healing from sex addiction is most definitely possible. But getting there is difficult work, for both the addict and his spouse. God forgives even the ugliest of sins. This means that each of us can experience real and meaningful forgiveness with each attempt to start over and break our patterns of repetitive sin. The Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model incorporates these skills to help you to become less reactive to your environment and the reality of the betrayal. You replace the fear with a constructive compassion that is reinforced using the Ford Isomorphic Path to Self-Intimacy. I know that you want to be less fearful of the unknown, and yet, you are afraid to stop looking for clues that he is acting out because you do not want to be betrayed again. I feel qualified to speak about addiction treatment and about what I have witnessed and claimed from a clinical therapeutic perspective that pornography addiction is the primary addiction of them all. It strikes humanity s core and negatively affects the world in ways the majority scarcely imagine. The increasing concern is what will happen with the upcoming generation without education, help, and sex addiction treatment. All humans need positive reinforcement, especially when they are working on relational repair. In the new book Help.Them.Heal, I am going to share situations which I am sure you will find some parallels or pieces to relate to as you examine your own relationship. You will also see how relational skills help repair the present-day problems that are buried in relational trauma.