Your reactivity decreases and your distress acceptance takes the charge out of the fear equation. The secondary gain is that you begin to apply this constructively compassionate mindset to others as well. The Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model incorporates these skills to help you to become less reactive to your environment and the reality of the betrayal. The blackest moment is the moment where transformation begins. It is always darkest before the dawn. The only way to heal is to head straight into the fire toward restoration. The restoration phase is all about finding meaning in life again. This doesn t mean the betrayed partner will no longer have any feelings of sadness or longing. As an Atlanta counselor specializing in problematic sexual behavior patterns such as chronic pornography use, repeated acts of cheating and infidelity, risky sexual behavior and flat-out sex and porn addiction, I decided to write this brief article to sort out some of the basic concepts for understanding this tricky topic. Sex addicts often drag perfectionism, shame, and self-hatred into their sexual decision making process, which is what drove the addictive behaviors in the first place. While the first few months of sexual recovery does require somewhat rigid boundaries, it is essential to help addicts negotiate the line between healthy sexual recovery and a healthy nurturing of self. This process is similar to what sex addicts experience, but it is even more accelerated because the actual guilt and shame process decreases in duration throughout the life of the addictive behaviors. I m sure many readers are already aware that sexual addiction has a serious impact. I can say without hesitation that it has the potential to be a relationship and life wrecker, and it often does just that. Table of Contents The Neuroscience Behind Sex Addiction Neuroscience shows us that there is little difference in the physical or chemical changes in the pleasure and control centers of the brain, whether the addiction is from a chemical or an experience. Neurosurgeon Dr. Donald L. Hilton Jr. states, It is imperative that we treat pornography and sexual addiction with the respect accorded any drug addiction, for as we shall see, that is precisely what it is.