He did not act out because you were not good enough or not worthy of his love. You could not cause his acting out. A secondary gain of mindfulness is that over time, you can learn to be present with the uncertainty, which is a normal response that is manifested out of betrayal trauma in a manner that was not reactive driven. Breaking Bad If it is true that when we attach to someone healthy and functional, it feels good and provides a sense of security, grounding, safety and wholeness, then the opposite is also true. When we attach to someone who is perhaps say, sexually addicted, it can affect our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health in teeth rattling ways. For example, will insurance cover health care treatment for sex addiction if it is not considered a mental health disorder? While both sides make fair arguments, we cannot deny the connections between mental health and sex addiction. For 88% of those with a sex addiction, mental illnesses play a key role. For the next six to eight months, the addict has admitted to the problem but is in shock and disbelief. She feels angry and hopeless but ultimately relieved that she has finally admitted to having an addiction to sexual behaviors. The grief stage. In another six-month period, the sex addict goes through a type of grief. Putting in the Work in Sex Addiction Recovery The process of recovery for sex addicts involves identifying those behaviors such as obsessive masturbation, pornography use, anonymous sex, exhibitionism, etc. that take you out of yourself and away from those around you, acknowledging the behaviors as a problem and finding sobriety by eliminating those behaviors before they show up. To avoid or correct this issue in your own marriage, establishing boundaries is crucial. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend define boundaries as personal property lines that separate what s your responsibility (feelings, attitudes, choices, and behaviors) from what s your spouse s responsibility. Boundaries provide a framework for your husband to take responsibility for his own healing journey and give you the space to focus on your healing, which is equally important for the marriage s recovery.