When one participates in these behaviors long enough, it is as though they can no longer hear that voice inside of themselves telling them to stop. Treating Pornography And Sex Addiction Is Like An Iceberg, You Only See The Surface. Treating pornography and sex addiction is like an iceberg, you only see the surface. The addict s objective is to continually seek gratification when the usual sources have lost their luster, so to speak. And pornography use can also complicate one s ability to become aroused. The degrading and other unrealistic themes depicted in pornography create highly distorted expectations of what should occur within the context of real-life sexual relationships, thus rendering the addict incapable of arousal in those situations. I (Debbie) work with wives and partners of men who struggle with being relationally faithful. Behaviors include masturbation, fantasizing, pornography, flirting, prostitution, massage parlors, sexual affairs, emotional affairs & other acts of infidelity. The lies and deception used by husbands to keep these behaviors hidden can create many emotional and physical symptoms for their wives. Taking a break from all sexual activity provides an opportunity to get back in touch with your true self. If you manage a period of sexual abstinence correctly you will learn some important lessons about yourself that will help you for the rest of your life, especially if you combine it with other constructive actions. A hurt person heals amid the remorse, accountability, and responsiveness of the person who injured them. Permit yourself to stop feeling bad about not forgiving quickly enough for your partner, your therapist, or anyone else. Does being unable to surrender to the process mean you are cruel or hard-hearted? Initially, information-seeking helps decrease panic and the horrible loss of power experienced after discovery of the betrayal. However, searching for information or signs of acting out quickly becomes all-consuming. Without intervention, intense emotions lead to faulty thinking, which becomes a force from within that fuels anger, rage and revenge.