This is healthy, normal, mutual dependency. It is what makes relationships fulfilling and sought after. We all want this special someone to attach to and intermingle our lives with. In fact, attachment researchers talk about the paradox of attachment saying, The more effectively dependent people are on one another, the more independent and daring they become, (Attached). For those facing pornography addiction or betrayal trauma, even though the condition may not be outwardly visible to those around them, the effects can be devastating to them individually as well as for those around them. When Jesus asks us if we want to get well what is our response? I m sure, like the man at the pool of Bethesda, our response will be Absolutely! Often the addict s shame and guilt surpass his ability to seek recovery and the help needed to heal the relationship. The same holds true for wives whose pain and anger lead to a permanent loss of trust. The factors that lead to one outcome or the other are as varied as the people involved. Factors that add to the chances of rebuilding the marriage include: Establishing a higher level and new kind of communication; Acceptance by the addict that he broke the covenant of marriage and must be willing to accept responsibility; The addict must work to rebuild his wife s trust in him. I didn t really need to ask, because his actions and accountability tell me everything I need to know, but it was reassuring nonetheless when he told me, Covenant Eyes has removed the temptation for me. I feel like a weight has been lifted and I don t have the daily mental struggle of it all. Full Transparency Everyone deserves a marriage that has full transparency. Here are three important boundaries to consider for rebuilding trust in your marriage. Sexual Boundaries Sexual boundaries are an essential aspect of recovery. During the early stages of healing, most counselors recommend a period of intentional sexual abstinence lasting 45-90 days. This abstinence has several benefits, including preventing sex from being used as a weapon, allowing time to observe his commitment to rebuilding intimacy, and helping him detox from porn s impact. Why Full Disclosure is Important Mark & Debbie Laaser Faithful and True Ministries Speak the truth to each other. (Zec.8:16). At Faithful & True, we encourage truth-telling. We encourage being authentic. We work with many couples for whom there has been lying and covering up of sexual and emotional betrayal.