If so, you may be learning about Partner Betrayal Trauma for the first time. Here s the thing about Partner Betrayal Trauma. It makes you feel like you are losing your mind. It puts you on an emotional rack and pulls you in opposite directions until you are begging for mercy or you break and ricochet over to one of the extremes just to find some relief. Scott has management and leadership certifications from the University of Notre Dame and Cornell University. Scott is currently a program director for Arbor Counseling Center in Gurnee, Illinois. The views expressed in Counseling Today are those of the authors and contributors and may not reflect the official policies or positions of the editors or the American Counseling Association. He needs to want what he has lost, or what he is about to lose, more than he wants the emotionally mind-numbing and ultimately life-destroying effects of sex addiction. Some addicts hit bottom soon after the addiction cycle begins. Others spend years, even decades, caught in the addiction cycle, engaging in risky and dangerous sexual behaviors before they acknowledge that they need help. Remember to identify one of these five feelings: anger, sadness, loneliness, happiness or fear. I can see as you look at the pictures from the Memorial Day family picnic that you feel sadness because now you question the reality of what really happened on that day. It feels like I contaminated the joyful event. Carnes, we had stuffed animals for hugging in our hospital day room. Between the cute stuffed animals was an ugly, humpbacked dragon with only one eye. Once, as I walked past, I saw some patients kicking this creature around and calling it names. I stopped and asked why they were abusing this ugly, but harmless, dragon. It s much like losing weight: it takes time to gain weight and will take time to lose it. Many adjustments will need to be made in order to overcome sexual addiction. Changes include giving up sexual fantasizing and flirting, changes in the way one dresses, getting Internet filters, joining support groups and entering therapy.