So, if our need was for safety, support, confidence in our work and movement/change, what are ways we can offer that to ourselves? Step 5: Finally, if after being proactive in these ways, that need still remains, can we surrender that need? Can we see if God might work in that space and bring about something we could not? Specifically, what does holiness mean in the context of struggles with pornography? I suspect most people have a vague understanding of holiness that it has something to do with God, that it probably means there are some things they should or shouldn t do. Years ago, a secular magazine published an article about Covenant Eyes, suggesting we block unholy web content. Checking in as often as necessary with a Sponsor (a sex addict who is sober, is a member of SAA, and continues to work his program in order to remain sober). Therapy with a counselor who has undergone rigorous training to earn the designation of Certified Sex Addiction Therapist3 (CSAT) status. The realization that it takes time and allegiance to the program and to God, (aka the Higher Power in 12-step groups) in order to achieve sobriety. This is where you can find a sponsor, which is a person who has extensive sobriety who provides ongoing personal support and mentoring. Meeting attendance is also a good way to develop relationships with people who are sources of accountability and support. It can be confusing to discover that there are several different 12-step groups for sex addiction, each with a somewhat different definition of sexual sobriety. Understand That Forgiveness Is Not A Thing You Give To Each Other When the offender demonstrates that he understands and is sincerely disturbed by the harm he has caused you, and when he works to make repairs, you [the hurt partner] may be more motivated to release your resentment and invite him back into your life. that take you out of yourself and away from those around you, acknowledging the behaviors as a problem and finding sobriety by eliminating those behaviors before they show up. But it s much more than that. Recovery is also very much about recognizing that much of who we ve presented ourselves to be to others, and many of the ways we ve chosen to do it, have been based on dishonesty.