Honesty is the foundation to recovery for any addict, and it's no different for the sexual addict. Healing does not occur if secrets are kept. Recovery will require a willingness and commitment to go the distance. The quality of recovery is directly related to how much effort is made to get well. We can never underestimate the power of prayer in the healing of addictions. One patient replied, "He's green and ugly and reminds me of my addiction. I'm kicking him around because that is how I feel about my addiction. I hate it and want to kill it off, that is why I am here." As the other addicts nodded their heads, something in their attitude struck me as wrong. Hebrews 12:14 instructs Christians to pursue holiness because, without it no one will see the Lord. So let s see what this means, and why it s vital for the Christian struggling with porn. 1. Holiness Means Being Set Apart In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for holy is, qadowsh, which means to be set apart. Does being unable to surrender to the process mean you are cruel or hard-hearted? Of course not! It is not your job to surrender or accept blame after your trust was shattered by betrayal. In fact, it s unreasonable for anyone to judge you for being unable to heal or forgive on demand. Your healing process is directly connected to your partner s ability to help you heal not anyone else s timing. Understanding the brain science of trauma and addiction enables the betrayed partner to see the big picture. The acting out had very little to do with the relationship or the partner. Many mental health professionals do not believe that sex addiction is a legitimate disorder. Therapists often think that the betrayed partner is the problem because they re not enough not attentive enough, not available enough, not sexual enough, not thin enough, not voluptuous enough. The Real Connections Between Mental Health and Sex Addiction The Keystone Center Sex is often a delicate topic, whether that be between two adults or a parent and a child. This is especially true when the issue of sex addiction comes up. Sex addiction, also known as compulsive sexual behavior, has been defined as an excessive focus on and participation in sexual activities despite negative consequences.