It feels like I contaminated the joyful event. Reassurance That You Have Changed, and Your Top Priority Is to Help Her Heal It will be necessary to share how you are changing and what you are working on to focus on your recovery and her healing (You do not want to be cocky or arrogant. Instead, you want to gently remind her that you will work diligently to build back her trust in you). Truthful answers allow for more of the puzzle pieces to take shape. However, trust is only really built from someone who is willing to offer the truth, the whole truth, without being asked. The problem with questioning is that a betrayed woman may wonder if she has not asked just the right question, or enough questions, so her mind will continue to obsess about what she has missed. After all, how do you draw the line between a healthy relationship with sex and compulsive sexual behaviors? Proponents of its inclusion, however, argue that without a formal categorization system people may not receive the help they need. For example, will insurance cover health care treatment for sex addiction if it is not considered a mental health disorder? Representing the feeling partners in the United States can feel, after finding the right guidance to handle betrayal trauma recovery. Schedule a free consultation today. Are you in that place? It s okay to wonder how and when you will feel better and stronger. Are you contemplating therapy as a means of getting over the pain and through the confusion? Sometimes, especially at the beginning of the recovery process, sobriety has to be dealt with hour-by-hour. The Spouse s Road to Recovery Upon discovering the addiction, the spouses of sex addicts find themselves mentally and emotionally shattered. Some counselors would say that spouses are codependent at this point, a term that is defined as: A psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as an addiction to alcohol or heroin). She makes a firm commitment to change after experiencing a crisis moment. This could be the diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease, an arrest, attempting suicide or anything else that causes the addict to commit to change. The shock stage. For the next six to eight months, the addict has admitted to the problem but is in shock and disbelief.