A recovering addict who has accomplished these things and desires a healthy relationship may consider some factors for further readiness. Consider the following checklist: Is in active, engaged recovery and maintains a support group of friends, recovery partner(s) and sponsor Has grown more aware of his or her feelings and is able and willing to talk about them to others Has learned how to reach out to others when difficult feelings or cravings emerge, or when issues arise in close relationships Has acknowledged any co-occurring or crossover addictions and is working on them in recovery Has acknowledged any co-occurring mental illnesses that may be present and has sought help. Carnes, we had stuffed animals for hugging in our hospital day room. Between the cute stuffed animals was an ugly, humpbacked dragon with only one eye. Once, as I walked past, I saw some patients kicking this creature around and calling it names. I stopped and asked why they were abusing this ugly, but harmless, dragon. Blow number one is the gut punch of betrayal; a breathtaking breach in trust that changes your relationship in permanent ways. Blow number two is the shocking realization that your partner has been extravagantly and expertly lying and manipulating reality in order to cover up their behaviors. These blows smash into your heart and in an instant plunge you into a whole new world. He is an experienced administrator and clinical supervisor as well as a seasoned clinician. Scott has management and leadership certifications from the University of Notre Dame and Cornell University. Scott is currently a program director for Arbor Counseling Center in Gurnee, Illinois. The views expressed in Counseling Today are those of the authors and contributors and may not reflect the official policies or positions of the editors or the American Counseling Association. Many adjustments will need to be made in order to overcome sexual addiction. Changes include giving up sexual fantasizing and flirting, changes in the way one dresses, getting Internet filters, joining support groups and entering therapy. Honesty is the foundation to recovery for any addict, and it's no different for the sexual addict. Some Christians have used the expression the already and the not yet to describe this tension in the life of the Christian. We are already made holy by the finished work of Jesus on the cross. We are already forgiven, justified, and saved. But we are not yet fully conformed to the image of Jesus. We have not yet conquered sin entirely.