Sexual addiction takes many years to develop and will require time for genuine health to be restored. It s much like losing weight: it takes time to gain weight and will take time to lose it. Many adjustments will need to be made in order to overcome sexual addiction. Changes include giving up sexual fantasizing and flirting, changes in the way one dresses, getting Internet filters, joining support groups and entering therapy. When that special someone that we have bonded with betrays us it messes us up because all of a sudden the person who is our secure base in the world has caused us untold pain and robbed us of our sense of safety. The relationship we thought was safe now feels painful and threatening. This profound and sudden change in our sense of security and connection sends our bodies into panic and lights up the fear center in our brain like a giant Christmas tree. Common physical boundaries include: Exiting volatile situations: Remove yourself when conflicts become heated. Physical separation: Request personal space and time away to think and heal. Third-party mediation: Involve a trusted third party when communication becomes difficult. Financial and technological transparency: Request access to his phone, bank statements, email accounts, and credit card statements. When Are Recovering Sex Addicts Ready for Relationships? Sex addiction, at base, is an intimacy disorder. And intimacy, according to Linda Hatch, Ph.D., sex addiction expert and therapist, is the ability to be real with another person. This might seem like a simple thing, but any addict, not just those who experience sexual compulsion, is a person who struggles with being real, (i. In 2014, the American Society of Addiction Medicine, however, recognized sexual addiction as a legitimate addictive disorder. This lack of congruency around sexual addiction demonstrates the barriers that counselors and the public often face when trying to conceptualize sexual addiction. What are the signs? Yet, if we find ourselves focused on and complaining about what someone else is doing or not doing; we likely have a need. This is the most important stage recognizing that what we are feeling is likely less about them and who they are and what they are doing and more about a need that we have. So, we identify: I probably have a need .