She also grieves the loss of her addiction because she used it like a crutch for a long period of time. Finally, whatever she used her addiction to cover up begins to emerge. This is often some kind of early trauma. The repair stage. This serious period of healing from sex addiction and its underlying causes can last from one to three years. While the first few months of sexual recovery does require somewhat rigid boundaries, it is essential to help addicts negotiate the line between healthy sexual recovery and a healthy nurturing of self. Despite the negative consequences caused by their addiction, recovering addicts need to find ways to love and value the addiction. We ve been set apart and belong to God in a special way. Furthermore, we were set apart to proclaim the praises of the one who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. This tells us that watching porn has no part in the Christian s life. Watching porn is sin, and it s part of the darkness we re called away from. How do you make any progress as a couple, if you all believe that you re the unforgiving, unloving problem partner too stuck to move on? When it comes to betrayal trauma recovery, sending partners off to seek individual therapy doesn t do either partner much good. Betrayal Trauma Recovery for the Unfaithful Partner: How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair Recognize That Your Partner s Trust Will Not Come Easy After Infidelity To trust right now is an act of bravery. This journey requires courage, loyalty and temperance. Each phase of the journey involves purifying, grinding down, shedding and brushing away unhealthy attitudes, beliefs and behaviors. The hero s journey brings the betrayed to a state of purity and clarity. Eckhart Tolle described the dark night of the soul as a collapse of the perceived meaning that the individual gave to their life. When we lead a couple through full disclosure, the husband (or unfaithful partner), creates a time-line of his entire sexual history, starting from birth. In fiveyear increments, he builds the story of how his sexuality developed. In the early years, many husbands have rather normal experiences of sexual experimenting which contribute to the shaping of sexual identity and development.