In another six-month period, the sex addict goes through a type of grief. She feels terrible about the damage she has caused to herself and to others. She also grieves the loss of her addiction because she used it like a crutch for a long period of time. Finally, whatever she used her addiction to cover up begins to emerge. If the additive behavior manifests in the workplace, the employer may have to terminate the person because the addictive behavior is affecting their work productivity. The internet, dating apps and virtual reality have ushered in a new world of opportunities for the sex addict. The saying a kid in a candy store has never been more applicable as it pertains to the anonymity, accessibility, variety and cost-free options that technology provides. Sexual Boundaries Sexual boundaries are an essential aspect of recovery. During the early stages of healing, most counselors recommend a period of intentional sexual abstinence lasting 45-90 days. This abstinence has several benefits, including preventing sex from being used as a weapon, allowing time to observe his commitment to rebuilding intimacy, and helping him detox from porn s impact. When Jesus asks us if we want to get well what is our response? I m sure, like the man at the pool of Bethesda, our response will be Absolutely! Please take this away from me! We d like more than anything to stop dealing with the circumstances and consequences of this condition the shame, hurt, guilt, deceit, betrayal, and more. Addicts may feel hopeless and powerless in their situation, believing they have no control over their sexual thoughts and actions. Therefore, they get stuck in a loop of negative behaviors. Patrick Carnes calls this The Offending Cycle . As a result, antidepressants and cognitive behavioral therapy are a common treatment option for sex addiction. And they learn that a relationship is something to value but not something they need to survive or to feel good about themselves. A recovering addict who has accomplished these things and desires a healthy relationship may consider some factors for further readiness. Consider the following checklist: Is in active, engaged recovery and maintains a support group of friends, recovery partner(s) and sponsor Has grown more aware of his or her feelings and is able and willing to talk about them to others Has learned how to reach out to others when difficult feelings or cravings emerge, or when issues arise in close relationships Has acknowledged any co-occurring or crossover addictions and is working on them in recovery Has acknowledged any co-occurring mental illnesses that may be present and has sought help.