Personal action items may involve seeking personal counseling for emotional healing, along with creating a plan for different scenarios based on your husband s response to recovery efforts. If he earnestly seeks help, you can commit to working on the relationship together. If he refuses help, you must follow through with consequences when boundaries are crossed. These individuals were raised in unhealthy or dysfunctional homes with parents who did not give them the care essential to their healthy growth and development. Poverty, mental illness, alcoholism, drug addiction, violence and crime are among the many reasons that individuals turn to sexually compulsive behavior as adults. I wish that when I was going through the many rounds of betrayal I experienced that I knew then what I know today. More information would have helped me feel normal and I would have been able to be kinder to myself when my emotions and behavior felt out of control. At the time I did not understand the science and theory behind the way that we pair-bond and what happens when that attachment is damaged. During the process, the viewer becomes addicted to pornography online, then needs more and more of the material to get the same effect; but their response to the images is reduced, until they cannot become aroused any longer. Pornography addiction, like other addictions, is linked to chemical changes in the body. What do you want 30 days from now or 1 to 5 years ahead? Work toward achieving that goal. As you attain it, work toward the next one on your list or make new goals. Your life should always be a process of discovery. According to sexual addiction treatment professionals, it takes time to learn new behavior patterns around sex. Many, unfortunately, do not realize how powerful these tiny chemicals are and how they affect our lives, behavior, and happiness. At this microscopic level, there s a constant interplay between chemical and electrical interaction. In his insightful book, The Mind and the Brain, Dr. Jeffery Schwartz explains the differences between the mind and the brain.