In the initial stages of crisis, demanding obedience might be necessary, but demanding obedience in the long term can sabotage trust rebuilding. Trust should be based on genuine care and commitment, not just following orders. Here are three important boundaries to consider for rebuilding trust in your marriage. To do that, we ll need to spend a bit of time understanding the early wounds that created our intimacy disordered behavior (addictions). So sex addiction recovery is about far more than one-day-at-a-time abstinence; it s real work we do on who we are, how we were formed and how we communicate with others. Twelve-step programs or other community support groups help many people to overcome the shame they feel about their compulsive sexual behaviors and to separate those behaviors from their sense of overall self-worth. Talk therapy with a professional who understands sex addiction is also a crucial component of treatment for most people in recovery. This triggered relapse behavior and a general clinical regression. While sexual addiction does parallel other forms of addictive behavior, it is also quite different. All people have a libido. Granted this exists to varying degrees, but it is there, and as humans we possess it. Sexual behavior and reproduction rituals also exists in various levels of the animal kingdom. This is why support groups for sex addicts are vital. As a sex addict learns that others have gone down the same road and have begun to heal, despair ebbs away and hope returns. 5. Healing shame There is healthy shame and unhealthy shame. Healthy shame occurs when I have done something wrong, like lying, and I feel shame about it. The struggles, experience, successes and mistakes of your sponsor can help you as you start your path in recovery. Your sponsor can also help you understand how the program works, and guide you through the 12 steps. Develop Your Sexual Recovery Plan In conjunction with your therapist (if you have one and continue to see him or her), or on your own, it s important that you begin to develop your own sexual recovery plan.