We are only in charge of one part of that equation - so to keep it clear and hearable there are some phrases to listen for in our conversation: I need to is really a should in disguise and I need you . indicates we still have to dig one more level down to discover what our need is. Neither of those first phrases point to our actual need. Sex Addiction as a term first appeared in the mid-1970s when a group of people in Alcoholics Anonymous got together to apply the principles of 12-step programs to issues of compulsive sexual behaviors. Research has shown that sexual addiction and substance abuse are often correlated. An estimated 40-64% of sex addicts also suffer from substance abuse disorders. My biggest personal victory has been the peace and confidence I feel when I help my children navigate the world of technology. They are now older and we can talk openly about the dangers of pornography, how to avoid it, and why pornography is so dangerous for your brain. This is something that never would have happened without the trials that my husband and I have endured together. Instead, forgiveness is a process of opting out of anger and the need for revenge forgiving the human qualities that lead people to act in terrible ways. To be clear, forgiveness frees one s heart from the prison of anger. Forgiveness is a decision that is made daily. Release and restoration After discovering a beloved s infidelity and deception, and after accepting their own call to action, the betrayed partner turns inward and begins their own hero s journey. A secondary gain of mindfulness is that over time, you can learn to be present with the uncertainty, which is a normal response that is manifested out of betrayal trauma in a manner that was not reactive driven. When you learn this, you will not only survive, but thrive because of the self-growth that has occurred because of your trauma. I have developed a formula that helps them to remember to do a read on the partners feelings and see things from her perspective. The formula is easy to follow because it only has 3 steps to follow. AVR-The Empathy Formula Practicing the A in AVR requires that you acknowledge the situation and accompanying pain.