Healing shame There is hope for recovery from sexual addiction. Recovery is a process that occurs over time. Recovery and healing are not one-time events. Sexual addiction takes many years to develop and will require time for genuine health to be restored. It s much like losing weight: it takes time to gain weight and will take time to lose it. Christians should rely on God s strength through prayer, Scripture, the Holy Spirit, and Christian community, rather than trying to conquer sin by their own efforts (Philippians 2:13). When a Christian struggles with temptation or even relapses, it doesn t mean God has abandoned them. Holiness is something God applies to the believer through their relationship with Jesus. I know that as couples seek to heal and transform from the hurts of infidelity, full disclosure is an important part of trust-building. Often a wife learns about unfaithful behaviors through her own accidental discovery or through more intentional detective work. Either might lead her to ask many questions that sometimes her husband may or may not be willing to answer. Sex is not meant to be a frivolous pastime nor a recreational activity; it is intended to be shared between two people who have deep feelings of love and commitment to one another. This conflict between mind, spirit, and brain is felt within addicts. Hope For Addiction RecoveryWhen these behaviors come, porn or sex addiction treatment should be sought and not delayed due to unrealistic justifications and rationalizations. Options you consider are: calling an Uber, asking your spouse to catch a ride home and you take the car, etc. In this example, it probably ends here. With some of the messier, more complicated needs, if no clear option appears available to you right now and you are unable to come up with any alternatives after being active in your own hoop to communicate it relationally or attempt to meet it for yourself, can you surrender your need to God or your higher power, trusting that He may meet it or there may be something in it for you to learn about yourself? When I first began a journey toward recovery I intellectually understood the concept and need for surrender but found it difficult to get to the heart of true surrender. Until 1543, the accepted understanding of the universe put the Earth at the center with all other celestial bodies circling it. This thinking aligns with our instinctual tendency to see, and put, ourselves at the center of our universe.