Step 3: Third, we understand that our partner is not obligated to meet our need. There is freedom too, but not a requirement too. Yet, because hopefully we have established a baseline foundation in our relationship that each of our needs matter, our spouse or partner can choose to hear our need, and then check their own resources within themselves to see if they could meet that need. Those against its inclusion argue that it does not meet sufficient diagnostic criteria and that pathologizing sexual behavior can have dangerous ramifications. After all, how do you draw the line between a healthy relationship with sex and compulsive sexual behaviors? Proponents of its inclusion, however, argue that without a formal categorization system people may not receive the help they need. Will there come a day when you ll wake up and be able to function without the incessant guilt, shame and deceit that s plagued you for so long? For many sexual addicts in recovery, these questions, and many more, are common. You re Not Alone As part of your recovery, or even during your treatment, you probably started attending 12-step meetings. From Secret Addiction to Full Transparency After being married for eight years, I came home unexpectedly one afternoon to find out that my husband had a pornography addiction. I was defeated, brokenhearted, and overwhelmed. I was a young, stay-at-home mom with four little kids, and my life felt shattered. Hope For Addiction RecoveryWhen these behaviors come, porn or sex addiction treatment should be sought and not delayed due to unrealistic justifications and rationalizations. In essence, the only difference between a heroin addict and a cocaine addict is the way the drug enters the system. The brain responds to information received from the eye quicker than from any other source. Each of us told him that in recovery we were committed to loving and appreciating him. We understood that he was not going away, but would remain in us as a guide and observer. It was our job to listen and respond to him appropriately. Our addict, who longed for acknowledgement and help, had been angry about being ignored and shut out, and had found sex as a means for attention and validation.