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Brene Brown on What Vulnerability Isn't | Re:Thinking with Adam Grant

Treatment Stages One expert in treating patients with compulsive sexual behaviors conducted a study that included nearly 1,000 people. He examined the steps these patients took in recovery and treatment and was able to outline the general stages and how long they lasted. Each person is unique, but he found that, in general, patients moved through these stages before being in recovery. Consider the following checklist: Is in active, engaged recovery and maintains a support group of friends, recovery partner(s) and sponsor Has grown more aware of his or her feelings and is able and willing to talk about them to others Has learned how to reach out to others when difficult feelings or cravings emerge, or when issues arise in close relationships Has acknowledged any co-occurring or crossover addictions and is working on them in recovery Has acknowledged any co-occurring mental illnesses that may be present and has sought help. Just as an alcoholic must stop drinking alcohol, a sex addict must stop all sexual acting out behaviours. Sometimes these behaviours are obvious, like no more sex outside of marriage, but sometimes they are subtle, like flirting. Again, this is where honesty with self and others is vital. Recovery support is essential, because trying to stop these behaviours without the support of God and others is nearly impossible. Borderline behavior isn t the same as a relapse but it can be the beginning of a gradual slide back to one. Finally, top lines are all forms of healthy behaviors that promote sobriety and good self-care. People establish and maintain appropriate top lines to keep from crossing their bottom lines. Support for Maintaining Sexual Sobriety Most self-identified sex addicts who want to maintain their sexual sobriety find it extremely beneficial to have regular contact with other people who are on similar journeys. What do you want 30 days from now or 1 to 5 years ahead? Work toward achieving that goal. As you attain it, work toward the next one on your list or make new goals. Your life should always be a process of discovery. According to sexual addiction treatment professionals, it takes time to learn new behavior patterns around sex. In addictions whether sexual or of any other kind the addict must be responsible for changing his perceptions, attitudes, actions, and self-concepts, as well as the belief system that underscores his addiction issues. Help and support await the addict but he needs to show up and work the process. A typical recovery process for a sex addict includes the following: Consistent participation in a Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) 12-Step type of program, such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SSA), Prodigals International, etc. 

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