First, people with this addiction need to stop their cycles of compulsive behavior, which usually means refraining from any sexual activity and avoiding potential sexual stimuli. Before these individuals can recover the ability to lead healthy sex lives, they need to address the underlying personal and interpersonal issues that have contributed to their addictive behavior, such as poor self-image and unhealthy attachment. You re Not Alone As part of your recovery, or even during your treatment, you probably started attending 12-step meetings. If you haven t done so yet, check out the various groups. They include Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA), Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), or Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA). This is akin to being declared in remission when cancer is involved. However, there is much growth and blessing to be received in the recovery process. The addicted person must come to a point in the active addiction process where he hurts enough to conclude that he wants his peace of mind back. He needs to want what he has lost, or what he is about to lose, more than he wants the emotionally mind-numbing and ultimately life-destroying effects of sex addiction. The fact that sexuality is a core part of the human experience explains why categorically it is different from other types of addiction such as alcohol and substance use, gambling, and shopping. Sure, there is a strong argument for genetic predisposition, but not all people are genetically predisposed to addiction. ) Especially when it comes to problematic pornography use there is evidence that a 90 day period of total sexual abstinence can help some people "reboot" their brain so that continued abstinence becomes easier and they become significantly happier and more productive as time progresses. This benefit of getting some forward momentum is captured in an old recovery saying that "it's easier to stay sober than to get sober". Understanding these facts and the dynamic that hurt people can go on to hurt people can help a wife build empathy and can also help her to depersonalize his behaviors. She can hopefully hear in his story that these behaviors are not really about her, they are about much older and deeper pain. This is not an excuse for sinning; it is an opportunity to grow through pain.