She picked up her husband s cellphone only to discover a loving message from his affair partner. Cathy s brain is spinning, and her emotions are all over the map. She feels embarrassed and alone, disconnected and detached from reality. She questions whether her entire relationship has been an enormous lie. This dynamic can lead to resentment, self-centeredness, and controlling behaviors. For example, a husband might blame his porn use on his wife s physical appearance or lower desire for sex, and a wife might start micromanaging and punishing every mistake. Both of these attitudes are unhealthy for the relationship. Recovery and healing are not one-time events. Sexual addiction takes many years to develop and will require time for genuine health to be restored. It s much like losing weight: it takes time to gain weight and will take time to lose it. Many adjustments will need to be made in order to overcome sexual addiction. When I first began a journey toward recovery I intellectually understood the concept and need for surrender but found it difficult to get to the heart of true surrender. Until 1543, the accepted understanding of the universe put the Earth at the center with all other celestial bodies circling it. This thinking aligns with our instinctual tendency to see, and put, ourselves at the center of our universe. Hope For Addiction RecoveryWhen these behaviors come, porn or sex addiction treatment should be sought and not delayed due to unrealistic justifications and rationalizations. In essence, the only difference between a heroin addict and a cocaine addict is the way the drug enters the system. The brain responds to information received from the eye quicker than from any other source. Another common worry is that you ll have to give up too much of your time to attend meetings, to continue therapy or group discussions. Don t pre-judge. Just go to the meetings regularly. Of course, you re understandably afraid that these people whom you don t yet know will reject you. How can they not, you wonder, if they really know all about you?