It makes sense to me that looking at our Memorial Day picnic pictures causes you great pain Validation of Her Feelings Using the Five Primary Feelings It can be difficult to ascertain how she is feeling, so it is helpful to focus on her primary feeling (and see if you got it right). If you were indeed able to figure out the primary feeling, you will be able to validate it later in your day if it comes up. Constructively compassionate is defined as allowing oneself to be fully present with the experience of oneself, while fostering a mutual acceptance of suffering, to bring a kinder reaction to distressing emotionality. This is intimacy with the self. That intimacy then ripples out into every other aspect of the partner s life. You are now blamed and directed away from the person you want to get closer to. In the meantime, your partner is absolved of their part in the process. No trust is built in your marriage or your therapist. How do you make any progress as a couple, if you all believe that you re the unforgiving, unloving problem partner too stuck to move on? It happens through answering a knock at the door, reading a random text, picking up a ringing telephone or the most common form of discovery turning on the computer to check email. The shock for the betrayed partner is so profound in the first moment, the first hour and the first day that it is hard to comprehend. The rush from pornography addiction or other types of sexual compulsivity is the way some users counteract feelings of inadequacy or emotional torment they may have experienced as a child or young teen. This research, and other studies, suggests that while many men reach a sexual peak in their 20s, those who began an addiction to pornography early in their teen years may actually experience the opposite; a loss of drive, interest and physical performance ability, along with emotional side effects like feelings of shame associated with sex. Full disclosure: Consider guided therapeutic disclosure by a professional counselor to ensure honesty and openness. Recovery support: Encourage your husband to seek counseling, support groups, or accountability groups. Check-ins and transparency: Ask your husband about his recovery progress. Avoiding triggers and temptations: Request that he avoid situations that may lead to temptation.