Healing despair 5. Healing shame There is hope for recovery from sexual addiction. Recovery is a process that occurs over time. Recovery and healing are not one-time events. Sexual addiction takes many years to develop and will require time for genuine health to be restored. It s much like losing weight: it takes time to gain weight and will take time to lose it. Instead of security we experience fear. Because our partner has caused us such deep pain, they now feel like a threat to our well-being rather than a source of comfort and rest. Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples says that betrayal traumas, overwhelm coping capacities and define the relationship, as a source of danger rather than a safe haven in times of stress. It was our job to listen and respond to him appropriately. Our addict, who longed for acknowledgement and help, had been angry about being ignored and shut out, and had found sex as a means for attention and validation. We each took this opportunity to say, "Thanks for helping us survive, we see you, we will listen now, we will take care of you. Table of Contents The Neuroscience Behind Sex Addiction Neuroscience shows us that there is little difference in the physical or chemical changes in the pleasure and control centers of the brain, whether the addiction is from a chemical or an experience. Neurosurgeon Dr. Donald L. Hilton Jr. states, It is imperative that we treat pornography and sexual addiction with the respect accorded any drug addiction, for as we shall see, that is precisely what it is. Twelve-step programs or other community support groups help many people to overcome the shame they feel about their compulsive sexual behaviors and to separate those behaviors from their sense of overall self-worth. Talk therapy with a professional who understands sex addiction is also a crucial component of treatment for most people in recovery. During the process, the viewer becomes addicted to pornography online, then needs more and more of the material to get the same effect; but their response to the images is reduced, until they cannot become aroused any longer. Pornography addiction, like other addictions, is linked to chemical changes in the body.