Those against its inclusion argue that it does not meet sufficient diagnostic criteria and that pathologizing sexual behavior can have dangerous ramifications. After all, how do you draw the line between a healthy relationship with sex and compulsive sexual behaviors? Proponents of its inclusion, however, argue that without a formal categorization system people may not receive the help they need. They feel alone and afraid and believe they are unworthy of love; they believe that no one can truly love them because they are unlovable. Therefore, they learn from a very young age that intimacy is dangerous in real life and that they can trust themselves only to meet their needs. In an article titled Can serial cheaters change? The simple answer is that relapse is defined as any sexual activity that falls outside of pre-determined boundaries. Sometimes people in 12-step recovery refer to acts that would constitute a relapse as "bottom-line behaviors". In addition to bottom lines , two other "lines" are helpful to understand. It is crucial for the spouse to seek two things immediately upon disclosure. Firstly, counseling with a therapist who is familiar with treating the effects of this kind of trauma. And, secondly, active participation in a support group of other women whose husbands are addicted to sex. Both issues need to be addressed, but dealing with trauma has priority. Admit that I can t do this on my own. Talk to others. Take it easy on myself. Resolve to get help on how to do better with future challenging thoughts/situations. Read more literature on sexual addiction and recovery. Put my recovery first. Be grateful for each day in recovery. Recognize that I am human. These blows smash into your heart and in an instant plunge you into a whole new world. When I experienced this, in seconds, the person who I depended on and was deeply connected to went from being a source of support and companionship to being a source of pain, fear and deep uncertainty. My relationship, which had created a stable base from which I was able to operate in the world, was suddenly a rickety, wobbly mess.