, then the call of the addict has served its purpose and deserves appreciation. This replaces shameful behavior with self-nurturing and healthy attachment. Group Treatment Experience When I provided inpatient treatment for Dr. Carnes, we had stuffed animals for hugging in our hospital day room. Between the cute stuffed animals was an ugly, humpbacked dragon with only one eye. They develop the ability to share their truths, including feelings of pain, sadness or ambiguity. And they learn that a relationship is something to value but not something they need to survive or to feel good about themselves. A recovering addict who has accomplished these things and desires a healthy relationship may consider some factors for further readiness. Difference Between Mind And Brain The Physical Brain The physical-chemical brain has a tremendous capacity to gain control of the mind. It can subject it and trap it. In other words, it can take over the human will and influence how a person thinks, feels, and acts. This state is known as addiction. It is a state where the physical-chemical brain demands or compels one towards a specific behavior regardless of what the mind or conscience says. People with a history of trauma can manifest a variety of different responses that are rooted in their traumatic experiences. This can include a deep-rooted sense of unworthiness, efforts to block or numb residual feelings, finding pleasure in extreme risk-taking, compulsive deprivation and re-creation of the trauma experience. To the one struggling, it relates to their addiction and behaviors. The survivor tends to focus on wanting their spouse s addiction and behavior cured but realizes that is out of their control. For them, the question then goes to their need to heal and move forward from the wounds and trauma of betrayal. In addition to bottom lines , two other "lines" are helpful to understand. The first is what I call a border line , which is any behavior that increases the risk of relapse and therefore must be carefully monitored. Borderline behavior isn t the same as a relapse but it can be the beginning of a gradual slide back to one.