Instead, you will accept that you were what you were then, and you are a different person now. You will have a whole new outlook on life, and your attitude will change. You will feel more self-confidence. You will know how to act in situations that, before, would throw you. Recovery Doesn t Mean No Sex Sexual abstinence is not the goal for you in recovery unless you choose to remain celibate, but that s purely your decision. However, trust is only really built from someone who is willing to offer the truth, the whole truth, without being asked. The problem with questioning is that a betrayed woman may wonder if she has not asked just the right question, or enough questions, so her mind will continue to obsess about what she has missed. In this way our adult relationships mirror our relationship with our parents as children; both, when functioning well, provide us with a secure base from which we can enter our worlds with confidence. Breaking Bad If it is true that when we attach to someone healthy and functional, it feels good and provides a sense of security, grounding, safety and wholeness, then the opposite is also true. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you. The Outer & Inner Condition The conditions we are dealing with in our lives may not be paralysis but they can be equally debilitating and threatening. For those facing pornography addiction or betrayal trauma, even though the condition may not be outwardly visible to those around them, the effects can be devastating to them individually as well as for those around them. Sexual dysfunction is one of the physical consequences researchers are studying alongside pornography addiction, a type of sexual compulsivity that is increasingly becoming the focus of sex addiction treatment programs. Researchers in Italy released study results that suggest when men become addicted to pornography, especially Internet pornography, they build up immunity to the pictures over time. In the initial stages of crisis, demanding obedience might be necessary, but demanding obedience in the long term can sabotage trust rebuilding. Trust should be based on genuine care and commitment, not just following orders. Here are three important boundaries to consider for rebuilding trust in your marriage.