To send either of you anywhere, wounded and alone, outside the couples session, won t get you where you want to go. Instead, your therapist would be wiser and more helpful to Help you understand that your partner s pain makes perfect sense! ask your partner what they need to heal. determine what is missing in the therapeutic process so they can help them feel better. Betrayed partners learn that betrayers live in a state of secret destructive entitlement. Education about the conditions that led to the betrayer s choices and deception is essential for the betrayed partner s healing. Still, it is in no way a justification or vindication of the betrayer s egregious behavior. By understanding how to recognize the occurrence manic episodes, the person is better armed to stabilize their sexual addiction as well. Substance Abuse and Sex Addiction The connections between substance abuse and sex addiction, often referred to as pairing go back to the roots of the term sex addiction itself. This allows the betrayal trauma response to calm as you gain the ability to be present with the natural normal distress resulting from the discovery that the addict has betrayed them. Your reactivity decreases and your distress acceptance takes the charge out of the fear equation. The secondary gain is that you begin to apply this constructively compassionate mindset to others as well. The increasing concern is what will happen with the upcoming generation without education, help, and sex addiction treatment. The children do not have immunity to it, and the young children are the ones being exposed at a shockingly high rate. The Chemical Brain Our brains are made up of chemicals called neurotransmitters. When wives internal world of perceptions and intuition does not match up with their external world of what they are seeing and being told, they can develop feelings of being crazy. That is often the result of internal and external worlds not seeming to match up. When these wives are offered the truth it finally allows them to feel sane.