If your safety is at risk, you should not tolerate physical or sexual violence and should seek help from appropriate authorities. Common physical boundaries include: Exiting volatile situations: Remove yourself when conflicts become heated. Physical separation: Request personal space and time away to think and heal. So, what does a hurting partner really need in order to heal? First, they need some clarity about the process as a whole. Betrayal Trauma Recovery For The Hurt Partner: Does It Help To Seek Help Separately? A couple sitting on the floor, back to back. They look distanced and lost after an affair. If you want to know how to help your spouse heal from your affair in the USA & Canada, you can schedule a free consultation with Relationship Experts. He is finally feeling the confidence to branch out and insert himself in a social situation and test the waters. At dinner with some acquaintances, Josh orders a soda much to the surprise of the others. Without much hesitation, Josh discloses that he is an alcoholic and quit drinking. He shares a sobriety coin with the group and receives unbridled support and praise for his courageous journey. For couples who seek to heal these hurts, we know that there needs to be a new foundation built from telling the truth the whole truth. We call this process full disclosure. I (Debbie) work with wives and partners of men who struggle with being relationally faithful. Behaviors include masturbation, fantasizing, pornography, flirting, prostitution, massage parlors, sexual affairs, emotional affairs & other acts of infidelity. When I experienced this, in seconds, the person who I depended on and was deeply connected to went from being a source of support and companionship to being a source of pain, fear and deep uncertainty. My relationship, which had created a stable base from which I was able to operate in the world, was suddenly a rickety, wobbly mess. I was a young, stay-at-home mom with four little kids, and my life felt shattered. I felt completely unprepared for the long battle ahead. He felt like he was spiraling out of control and absolutely could not stop compulsively (and secretly) viewing pornography. He started therapy and support meetings, but the addiction still felt heavy and impossible.