The most devastating aspect of discovery is that the entire system that holds the relationship together begins to collapse into itself. For the betrayed partner, healing involves self-reflection. Although they didn t create the problem, their mental health requires them to face aspects of themselves that have been affected by infidelity and deception. By stimulating both sides of the brain, EMDR shifts the traumatic memory from the right side of the brain to the left side (the logical side). Doing this can reduce the negative feelings associated with trauma. EMDR can provide a faster and more effective results than other traditional forms of therapy. Porn and ED Men Who Use Pornography at Young Age May Lose Interest Later, Experience Sexual Dysfunction Over time, too much viewing of pornography can harbor surprising physical effects in younger men, says recent research. Many could be at risk of losing their physical response to sexual activity and could become impotent. Additionally, it s important to encourage your husband to explore positive hobbies during the recovery process. Accountability Boundaries Accountability boundaries aim to hold your husband responsible for his actions and help build trust. Accountability is not about policing but about fostering openness and honesty. This might seem like a simple thing, but any addict, not just those who experience sexual compulsion, is a person who struggles with being real, (i.e., honest, available and truly vulnerable) with another person. According to Hatch, these intimacy disorders develop in addicts as a result of early experiences in their [families] of origin that failed to produce a secure attachment to their caregivers. Empathy Breeds Connection By Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CCPS-S, CSAT, PCC Empathy is the needed ingredient in relationship building and is an essential requirement when repairing betrayal. Men seem to have an empathy deficit and so I found that breaking it down was much more helpful in teaching this all important skill.